Keep yer lookin' balls on me and prepare to get your nuts smashed

I was completely blindsided by a cheese filled rice cake ball today. First of all, I have a hard time even calling it cheese. There's hardly any "real" cheese in this country. On the cheese scale it would fall a few steps below generic american singles. It's sweet and has this incredibly strange taste to it, almost like I'm eating something I should not be eating. Not to mention they don't even refrigerate it! That's right, there's just these cheese tubes sitting out in the stores for who knows how long. Anyway, I popped one of these rice cakes in my mouth and started to chow down when all of a sudden my mouth was filled with this horribleness that I can't even explain. I chewed as quickly as possible and tried not to vomit anything out. Needless to say I did not finish the rest.