Open Letter

Dear drunk man stumbling around in the middle of the street at 4pm,

I cannot decipher whether you are causing a ruckus because you are elated or miserable. Either way, might I suggest that wandering hither and thither about the road is perhaps not the best idea what with the cars and whatnot. Plus, you are not contributing to the pleasant environment for those trying to take a leisurely afternoon walk. I, sir, am no ajumma and I can only assume your hooting and hollering such a title is meant for me since there is no one else in the immediate area. I won't hear it and I won't respond to it. Please do not take my prompt retreat as a sign that I am unsocial, but I'd rather not become a part of your drunken trot down the lane. Also, you're gross.

Yours Truly