All By Myself

Is it ironic that I'm lactose intolerant, but am using a lotion called "milk plus?" Jake is off on a teacher field trip with his school which leaves me all by my lonesome here at home. I was going to go downtown and shop and sit and read at a coffee shop, but instead I've been sitting in bed watching movies. My co-teacher has the flu. Everyone is very concerned about my health. I've had two calls today telling me to keep checking my temperature and not to go to school if I have a fever on Monday. I don't feel sick at all though so that swine flu's got nothing on me. My mother claims I have such good health because of all the vitamins I take. Joke's on her because I don't take any. I have been force fed vitamins since birth. As previously stated, I'm lactose intolerant so I wasn't allowed to eat or drink any dairy products growing up which meant I had to take calcium supplements. But the insanity grew as I got older so what started out as a calcium pill and a multi-vitamin became calcium, multi-vit, b, d, echinacea, rosehips, fishoil, and anything else she thought my body was lacking. I have always really really really really hated taking them. Whenever possible I would pretend to swallow them and then throw them away when no one was looking. Even in Korea she still ships me bottles of supplements and routinely asks me if I am taking them/need more. For some reason I can't bring myself to tell her that no, I haven't taken a vitamin for years now. I guess it's because I know how she'll react. She'll just tell me that I need to take them and completely ignore everything else. I never realized how odd my mother was until I brought Jake home to meet them. I could probably write a book, or at least some very good short stories, about my life with her. Don't even start with me about Tiger Balm.

Damn that Jennifer Love Hewitt. Her ghost show is on everyday on two different channels. Plus she had a crappy movie on the other morning where she had a British accent and was horribly dubbed. But of course I watch because I'm starved for entertainment that I can actually understand. Much to Jacob's chagrin, I tend to be drawn to those reality dating shows. They're so crazy. I can't imagine how anyone thinks they'll find someone on one of those. At least on the old school ones, like Blind Date, the people were clearly out for one thing and one thing only. I've been catching Momma's Boys every now and then and I am absolutely amazed at how insane the girls up for grabs are. About half of them have these "pasts" that they don't want revealed to the mothers which means they've posed nude or have over $100,000 debt from shopping, and who knows what else. From the things Jake has told me a majority of the young women these days lead crazy lives filled with threesomes and public orgies. I probably shouldn't be surprised anymore, but I still can't believe it. Maybe I'm just too much of a goody-two-shoes. It inexplicably angers me, and perhaps it's the fundamental Christian upbringing that I'm forever trying to escape, but I feel like they're giving the rest of us a bad rep. How dare they do these things that I could never even imagine doing and give the impression that all girls went, or inevitably will go, wild! Then again, I hate that I think these thoughts. Who am I to be judgemental about the way other people live their lives? If that's what makes them happy then so be it.

I'm contemplating ordering takeout. I'm always hesitant about doing it because I am forced to speak Korean. I am very very self-concious about my Korean skills. A taxi driver told me she thought I spoke it well (at least I think that's what she said. She also might have said that I'm a big ole' phony and to go fuck myself), but I'm still not confident that I'm saying things correctly. But it's so convenient! So delicious! I don't even have to leave the house! This is the predicament I continue to ponder for the rest of the evening.