Wasting Time

I've gotten hooked on reading twitter mostly because I have 8 hours to do nothing except quietly entertain myself at work these past three days. So far I've become obsessed with Mindy Kaling. Not only is she spectacular on The Office, but she's hilarious as well. She's given me the idea to set my alarm to Linus and Lucy as well as come up with this hilarious failed children's book title: Ramona Quimby- 38 and Unmarried.

Have I mentioned that Koreans eat grapes in a really weird way? They suck the insides out, leave the skins, and swallow the seeds. I feel like such an animal eating the skins and spitting out the seeds.

I'm considering going to see My Life In Ruins this weekend for a number of reasons:
a.) It's in English
b.) Rachel Susan Dratch and Harland Williams are in it
c.) It's in English
It's a Rachel Dratch patty sandwiched between two language buns drizzled with a little Harland Williams sauce.

I read on OMG Yahoo! News, the gossipy/pop culture section (where I get all my breaking news stories), that Madonna was booed at her concert in Romania for speaking out against the discrimination of Gypsies. GYPSIES! The mention of Gypsies always takes me by surprise. I forget that they really exist and they're not like fairies or wizards.
A few favorite quotes:
She got more boos when she mentioned discrimination against homosexuals and others.
"I jeered her because it seemed false what she was telling us. What business does she have telling us these things?" said Ionut Dinu, 23.
"Madonna is a pop star. She is not an expert on interethnic relations."

Apparently the Romanians don't think much of what Madonna thinks about anything other than shelling out those classic hits and dancing around in age-inappropriate attire. Is it just me or does anyone else think, "Gross." when they see this album cover? I mean, isn't she over 50 years old now?

I suppose I was never a die hard Madonna fan and maybe that's the problem. I feel like she still thinks she's a sex symbol and relevant to Generation Y or Z or whatever letter those young bucks have been assigned. Even when I was a teenager, which was but 5-7 years ago, I didn't care about her. Perhaps it's just me and my snooty hipster taste.

In the words of Maria Bamford, "Also, I’m very busy right now, napping and drinking Diet Coke. It would cut into my sitting-around time and I really need to get that done."

Renovations

I used the bathroom for the first time this semester and low and behold they had soap dispensers installed! This may seem like small potatoes to some, but before they only had a couple bars of soap or nothing at all. I am thrilled at this new addition. My hands feel so clean! Usually I have to deal with them being grubby and gross until I make it home. They also turned the air con on today. Usually around this time I'm a sticky sweaty mess, but not today my friend! I like warm weather, sitting on the beach and so forth. But honestly, I can't wait for it to get colder. I'd rather pile on 5 sweaters than sit sweating in a tank top. Mainly it's a work thing. If I worked at a place that had steady temperature regulation I wouldn't mind as much whether it was winter or summer. In fact, in Minnesota I prefer the summer because I don't have to risk life and limb while driving on ice covered roads. Granted, the summers are a little different here. It's about a thousand times more humid and in the 90s about every day during the summertime. I'm hoping the hot season is almost over since it's a few days away from September. But I suppose technically autumn doesn't start until September 22 so things most likely won't cool down to my satisfaction until October.

I like using a knife and fork when eating pizza. Jake thinks this is pretentious and unnecessary. The plain truth is that I don't like getting my hands greasy. I'd eat a donut with a fork too, if they offered one. My friend Nicole introduced me to the art of eating Cheetos with chopsticks. There's something about having to lick and suck the digusting residue or food off your fingers that doesn't appeal to me. It's either that or wiping my hands every other second. Or maybe I'm just a big baby.

I just got back from my last daily summer vacation outing. It was actually quite productive. I went to the bank, paid the bills, and picked up some cute stickers and slippers at the stationary store.
See?

My friends back home used to tell me my toes looked like little baby fingers because they are so long. I used to grab things with my toes and hand them to my sister.

I'm not complaining because it's a pretty fantastic movie I never get tired of, but The Fifth Element is on like, every other week here. I think I saw it maybe once or twice in the U.S. because my sister owned it, but now I've seen it at least 10 times. Maybe they play it this much in the U.S. too and I just never watched enough cable television.

In other news, I'm hungry. Particularly for Mexican food or something of the like. A piping hot burrito would do just the trick. Or a really big Western breakfast. Oh the humanity!

Lists

My vacation is almost over. I really need to stop sleeping in so late. All I've done today (and the past week) is lay in bed, watch tv, and eat snacks. I've been so lazy, but it feels so good! School starts next week so I feel like I have to savor every minute.
Here is a list of things I miss/want right now in no particular order:
a.) Pizza East Coast style


b.) A Dill Pickle


c.) A Bowl of Candy Beans


d.) Arbys Roast Beef sandwich


e.) Meatball Sub


f.) Cupcakes


g.) Spicy Tuna Roll


h.) Tacos


I spent four days in Japan and this is what I learned.
1.) Japan is way more expensive than Korea and the U.S.
2.) No one should have to pay $18 to see Bolt
3.) Vacations are better spent on sunny beaches, not in busy cities
4.) I need to go to Japan with someone who likes sushi
Next vacation I want to go to Australia. Or maybe the Philippines.

I need to buy Jacob a far too belated birthday gift. I'm trying to decide between:
-mp3 player
-portable translation device
-a suit
I'm having a really hard time making this decision. My indecisiveness is at an all time high right now and the longer I wait the worse it looks that I didn't get him one ON his birthday.

What does it mean when all you want to eat are cheeseburgers? You know, like when you crave tuna it means you need more protein or iron or something. Unfortunately, I have a feeling it just means I'm fat. I keep watching 30 Rock and Liz Lemon eats so much junk food it makes me extremely jealous.

I Hope His Pants Get Caught And a Bloodbath Ensues!

I caught an episode of that Earl show that renewed my love for Jason Lee. I innocently went to imdb to see what latest flicks he happened to star in, only to be greeted by Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel. Perhaps I just have a thing for breakdancers (he was breakdancing in the show)...sadly that's entirely possible.

Kari-san

I totally killed a mosquito ninja style the other day. It was like when Obama killed that fly except I did it while the bug was in mid-air.

I find that Koreans have a somewhat strange taste in men. Or maybe it's just my students. I showed them pictures of Napoleon Dynamite and Bill Haverchuck both of which were described as handsome. Danny Devito on the other hand was a big fat pig. Not to mention that roaming the Korean streets are scores of beautiful Korean women fawning over not so attractive white men.

"Everyone loved your little Lemon party." I've been re-watching the first season of 30 Rock.

For some reason I have been fascinated with how-to videos on youtube. I only watch ones about makeup and I make a point of only watching the ones with Asians. Somehow it makes more sense to me to watch something being done to a face that looks like mine.

Summer of Strand

It doesn't quite have the same ring to it as the infamous "summer of george." oh well. I learned the other day that there will be a seventh season of one of my favorite tv programs, Curb Your Enthusiasm. I'm not sure where exactly they'll take it after the end of the last season, but somehow that makes the anticipation all the more exciting. Rumor has it the cast of Seinfeld will also be incorporated throughout the season. This tingles my nether regions in a way I can't even express. I am on day 6 of my vacation. So far I have sat in my apartment watching tv and eating. I have only traversed outside for food and to go to the gym. And I didn't like it. I forget how much of a hermit I am until I don't actually have to go anywhere. I'm not going to lie, it's been pretty incredible. But there's only so much time left before I have to head back to the grindstone. Meanwhile I'm trying to find myself a hobby so I don't completely waste my entire time off. I got a haircut the other day. It wasn't as harrowing an experience as I imagined, although there weren't any pictures to accurately describe the look I wanted. But after much gesturing I got something reasonable. As soon as it grows longer I think I'll be able to do much much more with it. Here's a pic



Jake tells me when I open my mouth really big I look like the girl from the grudge. A nerd version because of the glasses. Right now I'm multi-tasking -- watching Penelope, eating potato chips, taking stunning photographs of myself via webcam, and writing a blog. My glamorous life.