At the end of every week I have to resist the urge to play Rebecca Black's "Friday" while dancing wildly around the room, taunting the sixth graders.

I decided to watch some dog training videos today in my down time. Hopefully I will be able to master it. The videos really made me want another dog for some reason. I think I just want something to carry around like a baby. Louis is too heavy and doesn't like to be picked up. He's quite finicky that way. I pounced on him this morning, much to his discomfort. I like to roll him whenever possible as well, just so he remembers who's boss.

I wish I had a little mini heater and an air mattress so I could crawl under my desk and nap after lunch. It's 14 degrees celsius in here today compared to yesterday's blazing 15. The internets tell me that is upper 50s American style, but it still feels really cold to me. I keep my house between 26-28 so maybe that makes it feel extra cold when I venture out.

There Aren't Any Filthy Astronauts Living Around Here

I cried when I had no shoes.
Until I met a man who had no feet.
And then I laughed. Really hard.
-Gerri Blank

My go-to pick me up tv shows: Upright Citizens Brigade, Strangers with Candy, and Arrested Development.

I really need a haircut. I keep telling myself I need to go do it, but for some reason it never comes to fruition. I think I'm intimidated by all the contraptions I see in the window.

My dinner of fried kimchi and tofu has filled the house with quite a pungent odor that immediately became unpleasant the second I was done eating. I wish it would go far far away, but that would require opening the windows, which I am too delicate to tolerate at this juncture.

I would like to make a Dancing With Cats type collage, except all the pictures would be of me and Louis instead of cats. He would be sitting or laying in various positions with me dancing around him. He isn't as lively as those cats and I find that, in general, he is unamused by my dancing.

Reds

The gingers of my childhood.







I'd like to gather them all in one room and circle around me.

No Soup On A Bench

I wish I lived in Pawnee so I could be Leslie Knope's friend. I would reach out the olive branch and bridge the divide between the library and parks and rec department.

This may be a fat person thing to say, but the young lass who bagged my cinnamon roll totally ruined the cream cheese frosting on the top. She haphazardly threw it in top down and then sideways (!) so all the frosting rubbed off on the bag. I had half a mind to march back down there and show her how it's done...but that would be weird and she probably wouldn't understand what was happening.

Somehow my Louis manages to maneuver his way around the squeakers in his toys. I think he actually fully disabled one of them so it no longer squeaks at all. He's pretty much a genius.

Pizza Pizza

I allow myself one pizza a month and today was the day! I even got free salad bar side dishes because it took an hour instead of 30 minutes. If only the salad bar wasn't gross. Cold sweet mashed potatoes, ice berg lettuce, wet onions, a little canned corn, aloe jello, and cold sweet tomato pasta. They really like to put sugar in places where they don't belong. So much gross food, what's a gal to do.


Is Little Caesars Pizza officially out of business? I loved those commercials. I always wanted to take those breadsticks away from that little man. HE DIDN'T DESERVE THOSE BREADSTICKS!!!!

Louis has been as happy as a cat eating cheesecake now that Kip is gone. I can't carry him around like a newborn baby, but I can lie on top of him like a warm furry little body pillow.

Kudos to the maracas player in Foster the People. It's hard to look cool while playing the maracas, but you sir pull it off beautifully.

While listening to the Pod F Tompkast, I realized his accompianist is named "Eban." What a brilliant name. It immediately draws people in because they are forced to make a split second decision as to whether the person saying the name has a speech impediment, your hearing is wonks, or they are actually saying "Eban" and not "Evan." It's tricksy, it's dangerous, it's swirled in mystery, and I love it.

If you tell me you don't love things dressed up in bee costumes, YOU ARE A LIAR.

For some reason I always want to call this actor Andrew Garfield. If I knew him personally I would suggest a name change.

Ultimate Fantasy Dinner Party

Catherine O'Hara
Fred Willard
Wallace Shawn
Ray Ramano
Bronson Pinchot as Balki from Perfect Strangers
Elllie Kemper as Erin from The Office
Kaitlin Olsen
Stephen Merchant (to add a little culture)
Tig Notaro
I don't know if any of these people would get along...but I would like to talk to all of them face to face and maybe sit next to them, invading their personal bubbles. Perhaps some light shoulder stroking would also be involved. You never can tell with these things.

Unrelated- I love the sound old timey (aka 1990s) computer keyboards make. Another thing I took away from Sleepless in Seattle: I want a pull down map of the United States in my kitchen with which I could educate folks.
I made a wish list of things for Louis on Amazon...that little creature has no idea what's in store for him back in America. Raincoats, paw mittens, sweaters, and more! I wonder if they make kidney bean costumes for dogs...