Well! The time has come. I'm headed out into the wild blue yonder all by my lonesome tomorrow morning. As of yet I have one minimum wage paying job, no home, my dog is staying with my parents, and I have a heartache to beat the band. I will be living out of my car/Emily's futon until I can fend for myself. This is not the return I had planned for. My anxiety is beginning to take hold full force resulting in a panic attack this afternoon...I worry for my future. On the bright side, I'll be out of Merrill, making a bit 'o money, and be able to see some friends occasionally. I'm at a loss as to what to do with myself so I don't just sit around crying all the time. I need distractions, but I'm so overwhelmed with life that it's hard for me to see straight.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Mush
My brain hurts. Too much stress for one small Asian to handle right now. I'm staring at Louis, watching him try, unsuccessfully, to keep his eyes open. I myself have only had around 5 hours of sleep due to my mind going a mile a minute trying to straighten out my life. I keep telling myself things could always be worse. Like I could have no legs. Starting work in a few days will hopefully help soothe my soul or at least take my mind off that which ails me. I will be sans Lou until I am fully settled in a home so I am trying to stay within petting reach of him as much as possible since I don't know how long it will take to find someone that will have me.
I wonder how hard it would be to snag a mail clerk job at the US Embassy in Seoul...and how hard it would be to be a mail clerk at the US Embassy in Seoul...
Blerg, I must try to focus on one thing at a time. So difficult when I'm feeling really hatey about everything.
I wonder how hard it would be to snag a mail clerk job at the US Embassy in Seoul...and how hard it would be to be a mail clerk at the US Embassy in Seoul...
Blerg, I must try to focus on one thing at a time. So difficult when I'm feeling really hatey about everything.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Thneeds
My niece and nephew introduced me into the strange and exciting world of Beetleborgs last night. I also had quite an enjoyable time playing Ray-Man Origins which almost makes me want to buy a Wii...but I think a PS3 would be more functional. Maybe not though.
Finding out the hard way people aren't particularly fond of dogs in their house. Well, just one guy. Hopefully my new prospect will be more reasonable.
Tuesday I have an interview for the job of my dreams, working at a coffee shop. Caribou to be exact. Hopefully it will work out because I need to keep busy. I can't think of anything else to do to fill my time and I can always use more money. And, I've always wanted to make coffees. Win win.
Finding out the hard way people aren't particularly fond of dogs in their house. Well, just one guy. Hopefully my new prospect will be more reasonable.
Tuesday I have an interview for the job of my dreams, working at a coffee shop. Caribou to be exact. Hopefully it will work out because I need to keep busy. I can't think of anything else to do to fill my time and I can always use more money. And, I've always wanted to make coffees. Win win.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Welcome
I don't understand people. Listen, if I unfriend you on facebook, for science sake, don't try to re-friend me! Here's a quarter, buy yourself a clue...is that how the saying goes? It sounds right although at the moment it is escaping me where it came from. I am getting a very Molly Ringwald era vibe from it, but you never know.
I don't know what is happening out there, but all I can hear is polka music blasting from the bathroom.
Been going through some rough waters lately, hence the absence, but according to a Mr. Norman Vincent Peale if I start thinking positively I will gain some sort of powers. I haven't read the book, but sounds promising. I hope my power is invisibility. Or fixing cars. Or building computers. OR! Being able to speak and translate any language in the world. I would be irreplaceable. By world I mean South America, North America, Europe, Russia, and Asia. Africa and the Middle East, ehhhhh not so much. Too scary with all the rubble and child soldiers running all over the place. My goal is to have this be my last move for many moons. It's time for me to start nesting and I hate moving. I guess if I am living with a roommate and suddenly come into a large amount of money and/or get a better paying job then I'll find an apartment of my very own and then really get down to business. I really want to settle in, like a fat kid in a love sack.
I have been to hell and back trying to find business style clothes small enough for me. I never thought I'd be in such a pickle. All I really want now is a black suit from Banana Republic. They make tiny clothes for tiny people. That should be their motto. It's the worst to have an insatiable urge to shop and have no money. Probably the worst feeling, except for the little man in my chest steadily stabbing me in the heart with a pickaxe. Why a pickaxe, you say? Well, my dear, it's because in my mind this little man is dressed like an old fashioned prospector, big bushy beard and everything. In my brain my body is controlled by a team of Yosemite Sam types, responding to emotions and crap like that.
It's high time that I find some sort of purpose for my life. Booooo
I don't know what is happening out there, but all I can hear is polka music blasting from the bathroom.
Been going through some rough waters lately, hence the absence, but according to a Mr. Norman Vincent Peale if I start thinking positively I will gain some sort of powers. I haven't read the book, but sounds promising. I hope my power is invisibility. Or fixing cars. Or building computers. OR! Being able to speak and translate any language in the world. I would be irreplaceable. By world I mean South America, North America, Europe, Russia, and Asia. Africa and the Middle East, ehhhhh not so much. Too scary with all the rubble and child soldiers running all over the place. My goal is to have this be my last move for many moons. It's time for me to start nesting and I hate moving. I guess if I am living with a roommate and suddenly come into a large amount of money and/or get a better paying job then I'll find an apartment of my very own and then really get down to business. I really want to settle in, like a fat kid in a love sack.
I have been to hell and back trying to find business style clothes small enough for me. I never thought I'd be in such a pickle. All I really want now is a black suit from Banana Republic. They make tiny clothes for tiny people. That should be their motto. It's the worst to have an insatiable urge to shop and have no money. Probably the worst feeling, except for the little man in my chest steadily stabbing me in the heart with a pickaxe. Why a pickaxe, you say? Well, my dear, it's because in my mind this little man is dressed like an old fashioned prospector, big bushy beard and everything. In my brain my body is controlled by a team of Yosemite Sam types, responding to emotions and crap like that.
It's high time that I find some sort of purpose for my life. Booooo
Sunday, March 25, 2012
We're Coming To America
I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. I forgot how hard moving was. I'm trying to plan everything out exactly so everything gets done on time, people get paid, and I don't show up in America without any underpants or something like that. One moment I feel like bursting into tears and the next I'm dancing around Louis, taunting him with my sweet moves. I wish I had this week off because I feel like I'm struggling to get everything finished, especially since finding out I have to make a trip to Immigration before I leave. I suppose that it's my own fault for being lazy and not getting things done during my vacation. Now I have to ask off early from work which I hate hate hate doing because I have to go around and get signatures and explain what I'm doing. I think they understand, but I still feel awkward. I wish my coteachers would cut me some slack and plan the lessons themselves for this week, but that's not happening. Thus we must prevail...
Friday, March 16, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Double D
Thank science for youtube and Ed, Edd, and Eddy. I think it's the only thing keeping my wits about me as I trudge through these last few weeks.
Sometimes I get this paranoid feeling that everybody's lying to me. I think it's a result of being in Korea for so long and everybody lying to me.
I had a misguided eating binge last night which resulted in falling asleep at 7pm, waking at midnight, and returning to bed at 3am. I kept trying to snuggle up to Lou for comfort and finally found a spot that suited both of us (i.e. I could hear his heart beat without crushing him). If ever a time arises in which I must fall asleep, put a heartbeat recording (or mammal) next to my ear and I'll be snoozing in no time.
Sometimes I get this paranoid feeling that everybody's lying to me. I think it's a result of being in Korea for so long and everybody lying to me.
I had a misguided eating binge last night which resulted in falling asleep at 7pm, waking at midnight, and returning to bed at 3am. I kept trying to snuggle up to Lou for comfort and finally found a spot that suited both of us (i.e. I could hear his heart beat without crushing him). If ever a time arises in which I must fall asleep, put a heartbeat recording (or mammal) next to my ear and I'll be snoozing in no time.
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